| memories of a bygone era |
[Jan. 3rd, 2010|08:31 am] |
when my sister started primary school, she almost could not contain her excitement, and thus scoffed at the weeping kids around her.
i remember my first day of school as well.
it was nothing short of a nightmare.
my mum and aunt accompanied me, a small frightened child about to be thrown into a roomful of strangers. i'm sure i must have wondered to myself, how some of them already knew each other. of course there were several like me who looked like they could break into tears at the drop of a hat. but i remember vividly how the cliques made me feel left out, even if they had no such intention.
most of the first day is a blur now because i felt trapped. i was a bird with very powerful wings stuck in an iron cage. sounds like i was caught on that side of the iron curtain, now that i think about it. but i digress.
when the bell for recess came, i was probably out in a jiffy and dashed for the canteen where i found my mum and aunt waiting. they both had smiles on their faces. i was relieved..enough to want to eat something.
but barely 5 minutes into sitting down with my bowl of noodles, the bell rang again. mum and aunt told me to head back to class. i was puzzled: wasn't it over yet??
i had only survived the first half of my misery. more was to come (and i'm not talking just about the rest of that day).
primary school introduced me to the concept of racism, tho i had no name to give the phenomenon at the time. what was i to make of labels like manggali (a very sad corruption of bengali), and tonchet (a malay term for the mini-turban some sikh children have)? i never asked the adults what these words meant. i either found their existence dubious, or became unfazed.
there were some nice memories of those six years too. my cousin, a year older than me, and i were in the same school. meeting him during recess, even if it happened very rarely, somehow reassured me that i was not completely alone.
i was also to hone my streetdirectory.com skills (yes, i started young) in part because i later had to travel to school by public transport. what this did was to give me greater independence.
i also found a love that i've not abandoned till now: reading. books were the most reliable companions on my bus rides since i had no one else to speak to (everyone else lived closer to school). another plus point is that i'm able to read in moving vehicles without getting sick.
but what about that one time i overslept in the bus and woke up in an unfamiliar jurong east? i was petrified of course (yes, my eyes welled up)! the adults around me in the bus smiled, some chuckled. a couple of them asked where i lived. now, having been taught not to talk to strangers, i took a while to open up to them. heck, i was lost!
i still remember that woman who held my hand and took me to the other side of the then boon lay interchange and got me onto the bus back to bukit batok. i was much more calm when i reached my neighbourhood, though the fear had not completely released its hold on me.
then i saw my mum. she was distraught, worried.
i don't know if i ran to her, but i certainly hugged her.
"where did you go? we've been so worried!! we thought something had happened.."
"i'm sorry mummy. i overslept in the bus." |
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| the madness that is family |
[Dec. 26th, 2009|03:02 pm] |
we went to my aunt's place for a christmas dinner yesterday. i don't know why i even remotely considered the possibility of a relatively quiet affair.
you see, we're punjabis. and by default, we don't know what 'quiet' really means. so into the chaos we went: kids running around and screaming, adults fussing over my (very adorable) nephew, the older cousins huddled in a corner negotiating their space with filled paper plates, and a number of faces i was seeing for the first time. my sister and i were not sure where we'd fit in. but punjabi culture is such that you don't have to worry about this for too long, ji.
i received a few birthday wishes, did the obligatory sat sri akaals and hellos to everyone. and because my aunt's domestic helper has her birthday on christmas day itself, we had to stand sheepishly in front of a cake, together with some tiny tots, and be subjected to at least 20 pairs of eyeballs singing for us.
oh, and did i mention the number of photographs we took? ok let me get to that. first, it was a group shot of everyone, and i mean EVERYONE in the living room: about 40 of us by the time this happened. then it was time for thematic shots: sisters, brothers, guys, girls, immediate family, etc. this went on for quite some time.
my sister and i sat away from all the laughter and madness that was taking place (did i mention the noise too?). but there was something else we asked ourselves: how often do we see the family get together like this, under the same roof, in a tiny digital frame, laughing and smiling? surely every family has its own problems and unresolved issues. but when these can be forgotten even for a night, why complain?
so we contented ourselves with smiles, and watched our aunts behaving like teenagers flashing their fancy digital cameras --
never mind that they did not necessarily know how to use them. |
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